At the risk of alienating each and every one of you, I’m having a fundraiser. A teeny tiny fundraiser–a blogathon, if you will.  It’s my last resort. I’d considered other options, but none seemed workable.

Other Options That Didn’t Seem Workable:

A Telethon– I’d heard that Jerry Lewis was available. But his plane fare would have cost more than the amount I’m trying to raise. It’s a shame, because for years, I’ve fantasized about him singing, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” and handing me an eighteen-foot check. In this case, it would be overkill.

A Potholder Sale– This is out, because I’d have to buy one of those looms, the hook and the loops– an astronomical $13.99 (plus shipping) at Dick Blick, which would equal about 15% of the amount I’m trying to raise. Plus, in my entire life, I’ve completed exactly one potholder, and I was about eleven at the time. I think it took me three years.

Prostitution: Twenty years and twenty pounds too late for this one. I could try it, but there just aren’t enough old, visually impaired, sex-deprived men living around here to make it a worthwhile venture. Also, I’d be arrested. Also, my husband might get angry. And it’s ooky.

Bank Robbery: I’m afraid I’d be laughed at when I slid the note with the amount I need to the teller. Also, I’d be arrested. And my husband might get angry.

I came up with a few equally brilliant ideas, but I’ll spare you. It’s lunchtime, and I’m worried about your digestive tract. Besides, most of my ideas are flat out stupid. The bottom line is that after careful consideration, I decided to come here and make my plea.

Here’s the story. I wrote a story. Well, I’ve written a bunch of stories, and I’ll soon be publishing them. These are personal essays, memoir-y things and short fiction. As God is my witness, I’m not subjecting the world to any more of my poetry– at least, not for a while.

I wrote one short story, entitled, “The Watch,” which I’m planning to publish as a Kindle Single. It’s a tale that’s near and dear to my heart, and I’m hoping that the editors at Amazon will accept it.

I put the finishing touches on it a few weeks ago, but I encountered a small glitch along the way. The story contains song lyrics, and I needed to obtain permission to use them. I’ve never done this before, and had no idea as to how to go about it. I searched the ASCAP catalog and found a few leads, but couldn’t figure out who held the rights. I e-mailed a Famous Person who’d recorded the song  to see if he could help, but received no reply. I even logged onto Facebook and friended another Famous Person who’d recorded it; I messaged him and asked if he could point me in the right direction, but he ignored me too. It was hard to imagine that they wouldn’t put their lives on hold and make  time for me, but sadly, it seemed to be the case.

Finally, Amadeus suggested that I search another publishing company’s catalog, and voila! There it was! I found a contact, who directed me to another contact who sent me to the publishing company that held the rights. I put in my request, held my breath and waited for five long weeks (yes, I turned blue). This morning, I received a reply. The good news is, THEY’RE GOING TO LET ME USE THE SONG LYRICS! They only want $100, which I think is incredibly reasonable. The bad news is, I don’t have $100. I counted the loose change at the bottom of my purse and even checked the sofa cushions. I came up with $1.31, a red jelly bean, a guitar pick and some lint.

I know I’m being bold here, but for the first time ever, I’m requesting donations. It feels a bit weird and impolite to do so, but I really want to publish this story. I need to publish it. So, I guess I’m having a blogathon. If you have even a little to give, please consider pressing the PayPal button on my sidebar and plunking down $1 or $12 or $753,000. My goal is $100. If,  by some Mayan end-of-the-world miracle, I receive anything over that amount, it will go toward my next project. Incentive  (you know, like they do on PBS): Unless you choose to remain anonymous, those who donate $10 or more will receive a Kindle Single version of “The Watch.” If Amazon doesn’t accept it as a Single (impossible!), or if you don’t have a Kindle, I’ll send it to you as an old-fashioned email attachment, or by smoke signal. Think of it– for a mere pittance, you–yes, you–can be an arts patron! If, of course, you suspend disbelief and consider what I do art.

So there you have it. There’s my plea. It feels awful to ask, but not quite as awful as soliciting old blind men.

P.S.  In order to provide you with some blogathon ambience, here are the Smoking Popes, performing their super-swell version of “You’ll Never Walk Alone.”


UPDATE: I reached my goal! The blogathon has ended!

To those who donated: Thank you, thank you for supporting my writing efforts! You’re angels, every single one of you. Oh my gosh– I’m so excited!!! 

4 thoughts on “Blogathon

  1. Kendall says:

    You cannot alienate me. I’m with you no matter what. I hope this works, Moonbeam! You have picked a hell of a month to do it, the same month when everybody is doing holiday shopping and every charity on the green earth is begging for donations before the end of year. But things happen when they happen. I want this to work for you. It’s not like you want an enormous sum. I think you’ll get what you asked for.

    Thanks, Kendall. I did pick a rotten month, or rather, a rotten month picked me. Still, I’m thrilled because I thought it was going to be about a thousand dollars. And if I can get everything done in a timely manner, this story would make a sweet Christmas gift.

  2. David says:

    You can’t alienate me either. Your goal is TOTALLY ATTAINABLE! In observance of today, 12/12/12, I pledge to your Blogathon. I look forward to reading your next publication!

    Happy Christmahanukawaanza …. :)

    David, thank you for the donation!!!!!! You know, my initial thought was to do an IndieGogo campaign to raise funds for this. But their mininum for projects is $500 and I only need $100. So, as awkward as it feels using this platform, I decided to try it. I do believe in blog karma, I do, I do. Thanks to you, I’m getting closer to my goal. Again– thank you so, so much!!! Happy Christmahanukawaanza to you and yours!! Sending you hugs as big as tree branches. Not those wimpy trees either.

  3. Pat . says:

    Well, I am alienated – I am moving to Mars to spend my remaining time with Curiosity – “a roving we will go”.
    I have explained to my children why there will be no Christmas presents this year, other than your kindle single – they seem to be getting used to the idea – I threatened to read them your poetry each and every night till Christmas if they don’t stop crying.

    I know how your kids feel– I got a little weepy today too (and I wasn’t even listening to my audio book). Thank you so much for helping me do this thing, Pat. Amadeus and I are discussing a summer vacation to Mars, to ease your alienation a little. In the meantime, I’m going to send this payment to the song publisher. Merry Christmas to you and your poor, poor children!

  4. randomyriad says:

    I am glad you reached your goal. I was a little late and empty of pocket, but I might have broken my piggy bank or dug in the under the couch cushions for your. I am glad I don’t have to mainly because you are awesome and have so many friends with spare change in their couches. By the way I love the Smoking Popes, both their name and the song.

    Awwww, thank you, RM. I’m glad the goal was reached and that your piggy bank stayed intact. I’m not sure how awesome I am, but the readers of this blog definitely are, you included.

    Isn’t that a great version of the song? My favorite. To me, the Smoking Popes sound like Frank Sinatra meets the Ramones. I love the name too. Here’s another:

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