Teacup Pup Campaign ’08: Please sign the petition.

We the undersigned, being of somewhat soundish mind and really none of your business body (unless it’s a really buff body, in which case we may include pictures and brag a lot), request that Moonbeam McQueen be provided with 1 (one) very adorable teacup puppy, posthaste. In reading of her yearning for a tiny furry canine to love, cherish, hold upon her lap and speak to in insufferable baby talk, we have come to the undeniable conclusion that it is important– nay, essential, that this precious little addition immediately be made to your household in order to increase the level of harmony, happiness, and creativity that is necessary for Ms. McQueen to function successfully as a partner, a writer, and a citizen of these United States of America.

(Your signature will automatically appear with your persuasive comment. Please feel free to add additional thoughts, ideas or tactics. Comments not considered pro-pup may be deleted. This petition valid in the U.S., Canada and the rest of the air-breathing world. Non air breathers, please send signature telepathically from the planet on which you reside. Comments and signatures will be compiled and presented to Mr. Tom Truelove (a.k.a. Moonbeam’s Sweetie Man) by the independent firm of Price-Puppyhouse, Incorporated. All sales final. Tax, license and Puppy Chow become the responsibility of the puppy buyer. No COD’s.)

28 Comments

  1. Maxine said,

    March 8, 2008 at 8:29 pm · Edit

    Mr. Truelove, you best be on your way to the puppy mil to get Ms. Moonbeam a little bitch. Don’t make me go tranny ho up in here. What Ms. Moonbeam wants, Ms. Moonbeam best gets, dig?

    Kisses,
    Maxine

  2. Wendy said,

    March 8, 2008 at 8:33 pm · Edit

    Dear Tom,
    People who own dogs are healthier, happier, and live longer. It’s a proven scientific fact.
    Sincerely,
    Wendy

  3. Brian said,

    March 8, 2008 at 9:26 pm · Edit

    Tom-Tom,

    As the official spokesperson of Stella’s Fellas, I beseech you to obtain a mini-pooch for MBMQ as quickly as possible. Stella is currently expanding her network across the country, but we do not have any capable canines in the Ohio area. You may very well be standing in the way of Stella’s plans for global domination, and I’m pretty sure that’s not somewhere that you want to be, if I ain’t being too subtle.

    Cordially yours,
    Brian

  4. Little Miss said,

    March 8, 2008 at 9:45 pm · Edit

    Mr. Tom Truelove,

    I have the mommy dog right here, ready for breeding with just the right daddy dog. You can see pictures of her on my blog and hear her lovely cooings with her sister teacup pups. She would be happy to donate, free of course, the best of the best of her future litter to you, in the spirit of ensuring Ms. Moonbeam’s state of serenity and happiness. Should you find the perfect daddy dog, please let us know and we will be happy to make arrangements for their love fest. Preferably in the Seattle region, but other locales will certainly be considered.

    Speaking from a somewhat kindred-y sprit to Ms. Moonbeam, I know first hand the benefits of said teacup puppy provide. I, too, was a skeptic until one was placed in my path. Rest assured, you will not regret the sweet-smelling puppy breath one minute.

    Warmly,
    Little Miss.

  5. alyssasudds said,

    March 8, 2008 at 10:20 pm · Edit

    To future dog owner Tom,

    You have qualified for a adorable puppy by your wife’s choice and only her choice. If she wants a teacup puppy, she will get a teacup puppy for what’s left of her sane happiness. And her happiness matters right? You want to make her happy and see the joy on her face when she has a teacup puppy in her very presence? Do the right thing and buy a pooper machine… but thats not all you get… they piss, slobber, roll over, fletch, and bark at unnecessary times. If you decide to buy a puppy in the next week, the deal will include a very happy wife… so shop smart and regret less.

    Yours truly,
    Alyssa

  6. Teri Lussier said,

    March 9, 2008 at 4:13 am · Edit

    Mr. Sweetie Man Tom-

    Congratulations on your wise decision to procure a charming teacup pup for the love of your life. Your taste in both love and dogs will be the envy of all as the Miss Diva Thing MBMQ is properly accompanied by an adorable and adoring canine companion. You sir, have exquisite taste and it shows! Now your only decision is which color pup would best compliment your true loves eyes.

    (private note to MBMQ: That’s what we call the “presumptive close”. ::wink::)

  7. cantueso said,

    March 9, 2008 at 6:02 am · Edit

    (Tell a friend to get Tom the puppy for Easter. Tell him it is called an Easter Egg puppy. Tell him “we have to keep it for a week or two so as not to offend Eulalia (=the friend’s name)”.

    Things are often done that way. You could also simply one day find one in your mail box as a peize that you won in the local church lottery.

  8. cantueso said,

    March 9, 2008 at 6:06 am · Edit

    Off topic:

    I have been complaining on Dave’s blog that there are some blogs where, once I am there, they do not let me go back where I came from.

    Yours is one of those! Of course I know you are innocent, of course. But still, what the hell is it? You know that little green “back” arrow up there on the left?
    I click on it and it takes about 3 seconds and opens again right here where I am..

  9. one raised eyebrow said,

    March 9, 2008 at 7:32 am · Edit

    Pets ease the pain, especially dogs! Two dogs and five cats here…the dogs are the love of my life (don’t tell!) Indigo, I gave birth to…she owns my heart. Mitten, the pug, sleeps in my lap all day when I am at home an on the computer. It’s like having a heating pad for the aches! They add joy to your life.

    Dear Mr Truelove,

    Please get MB a puppy. She will be so thrilled which of course, will be reflected back to you. MB will feel better and we all want that, right?

    MB let us know what you decide to name the puppy and of course, post pictures!

    Best of luck
    Abbe

  10. David said,

    March 9, 2008 at 8:42 am · Edit

    About-To-Become-Even-Happier McQueen Couple,

    Get thee, you two, to a puppery and select a nice, mellow, peasant-tempered mini-dog. Wendy is right, and therapy dogs (and cats) are all the rage at the nuthouses and seniorcare factories. Pay the nice girl the $450 and sign all the papers. Or go to your local SPCA and save $25.

    With the agent as a witness, sign all the papers you’d prepared in advance stipulating who is responsible for feeding, walking, cleaning up accidental poo, consoling the cat, etc.

    That’s as positive as I can get, without letting Oliver edit this comment. I’m sure that, being a good Parson Russell Terrier he will approve of the Easter Puppy idea cantueso mentioned.

    Happy Puppy Shopping!

  11. thegirlfromtheghetto said,

    March 9, 2008 at 11:59 am · Edit

    Pets are very theraputic, which Moonbeam really needs. And I’m advising her to just go out and buy the dog if you won’t … because Tom, you really aren’t the type of husband who wouldn’t deny his wife happiness, are you? I think not.

  12. moonbeammcqueen said,

    March 9, 2008 at 1:10 pm · Edit

    My Dearest Tom (a.k.a. The Man I Love, Pookie Pie, Angel Heart, Cutie Bootie, Guy Who Won’t Let Me Have a Dog, etc.),

    Within a few days, I shall move this petition over to my permanent pages, so that it can be an ongoing project. I think that you can tell by some of the beautiful sentiments above that this is not just a want, but a genuine need. It is in desperation for puppiness that I present this plea. I ask for little– just a little furball so small that it can eat from a thimble and sleep in your shoe; a tiny companion that will fill the empty nest that my children have flown from, but will never ask to borrow the car keys or get a tattoo.

    This will not just be for me. He can be the child you never had. You can play ball with him, teach him to ride a bike, and when he’s older, give him dating tips and instruct him on how to shave. I see it as a win-win for both of us.

    Commenters, thank you. I hope that people will continue to sign this, and add their sage advice. Perhaps by the end of the campaign, Tom will have seen the light (or at least been worn down to the point of consenting).

  13. joanharvest said,

    March 9, 2008 at 1:22 pm · Edit

    My sister didn’t tell her husband she was getting a dog. She just went to the dog pound and got one. Surprised the hell out of her hubby when he got home from work that night. This is a link to a photo of her which is really crazy. http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2010/2321010647_b445b96efd_o.jpg

    The funny part is that now my sister’s husband loves that dog.

  14. joanharvest said,

    March 9, 2008 at 1:30 pm · Edit

    Tom,

    Please get Moonbeam a dog. We all want Moonbeam to be happy. You wouldn’t only be making Moonbeam happy but you would be making all of us happy and there’s a lot of us. Our happiness depends on you. Knowing that not having a dog makes Moonbeam unhappy puts a hole in my heart. Think of all her blog friends that now have holes in their hearts because Moonbeam doesn’t have a dog. I don’t know what I would do without my cat/dog Yoda. He’s a dog in a cat suit. And I’m sure Moonbeam would train it to get your slippers in the evening and do other chores for you. It’s a win win situation.

  15. thebeadden said,

    March 9, 2008 at 8:07 pm · Edit

    Dear Mr. Tom Truelove
    get Moonbeam a teacup puppy
    or I will hold my breath
    until I look like a guppy.

    )

  16. Desperate Measures Spin-off « Random Inkings said,

    March 9, 2008 at 8:22 pm · Edit

    […] this post for a full […]

  17. Botmo said,

    March 9, 2008 at 8:56 pm · Edit

    Here is my possibly soon to be deleted comment, that could mean a cruel turn of the shoulder from my much beloved practically-a-sister friend.

    You’ve had one or two pets over the last ten years. Where are they now? What are the stories associated with your deciding that they must leave your home?

    Now I am not saying you’ve done anything wrong! No, no, no, no, no. I really don’t remember and I want to know. Your answer may take you that much closer to obtaining a tea-cup pup!

    Start with Iggy, and then move on to Otis. Are those the only two? I don’t remember the stories, but I remember being put at ease. What happened?

    I could not delete a comment from my grouchy sister Pet FBI agent friend, although I sort of want to. Iggy and Otis (both cats) fared extremely well. I may post about them one of these days, and could also update you via phone or e-mail. Now stop pooping on my parade.

  18. gypsy-heart said,

    March 9, 2008 at 9:18 pm · Edit

    Ringo (my dog guru) and I petition you to let please let Moonbeam have a teacup puppy to love and keep!!

    Ringo wanted me to point this out to you…besides the obvious love and laughter you will receive…what about for security? Even teacup puppies grow up to be good security system (okay…at least a warning system)!

    One last thing…dogs are cheaper than therapy!! )

  19. gypsy-heart said,

    March 9, 2008 at 9:21 pm · Edit

    Moonbeam..sorry about the grammar mistakes…it’s Ringo’s fault. I knew I should not let him type this with a toy in his mouth!! I apologize….never again!

  20. Red said,

    March 9, 2008 at 10:39 pm · Edit

    Yeah, Tom .. just do it.

  21. romi41 said,

    March 9, 2008 at 10:45 pm · Edit

    ANYBODY OUT THERE???

    GET THIS GLORIOUS WOMAN A PUPPY!!!

    I hope the “all caps” were compelling, because if baby-talk-to-puppy is what it takes to keep you writing, then it must be done!!!

    -)

  22. Adam said,

    March 10, 2008 at 12:09 am · Edit

    Tom,

    Please, please get Moonbeam a puppy! You may never have another chance to procure her happiness so simply. And it will make us, moonbeam’s readers, very happy as well… since it will provide plenty of fodder for her wonderful essays.

    You should be thankful that she’s not asking for an expensive & time-consuming horse, a smelly & unhygienic ferret, a so-called “domesticated” raccoon, and/or a baby (be it conceived, adopted or fostered). I’ve had some experience with each of these creatures, and believe me, you’re getting off easy with a puppy.

  23. Botmo said,

    March 10, 2008 at 6:02 am · Edit

    I’m sorry. I want you to have a dog. Have you considered adoption?

  24. kimiam said,

    March 10, 2008 at 7:22 am · Edit

    Tom,

    Get Moonbeam a teacup pup. I have a mini. He eats less food than the big dogs. Also does less harm to the enviornment by requiring smaller bags for pick up. A teacup would offer double the enviornmentally friendliness. Plus, as my hairy child, he takes the pressure off of my regular, reduced hair kids by loving all the attention from mom.

    My mini brought tears to my neighbor’s eyes when he ran right into the neighbor’s livingroom and peed on the leg of his favorite chair in front of us. My neighbor’s dog had died recently and that’s the spot he used to pee on, you see. Dogs are great like this.

    I am actually able to monitor the snacks my children are eating after school by checking the top of my dog’s head where I find ice cream drips and cheeto crumbs.

    Our mini minimizes the energy it takes me to walk around the block by pulling me behind him in the style of a sled dog without a sled. He’s a fabulous hand warmer in the wintertime.

    Also, he keeps the throw pillows in the livingroom sexually satisfied. They NEVER complain since we’ve had our mini although sometimes I walk into the livingroom to find the throw pillows all on top of each other in some kind of pillow orgy but that’s neither here nor there.

    Whenever we feel like being in a parade, we can just throw a doggie sweater on him and sneak in because of his super elite cute doggie powers -powers that are inversely proportional to the size of the doggie so your teacup could get you into the Thanksgiving parade in New York, on the Ellen show ,or maybe into the Whitehouse.

    Moonbeam wants a teacup pup, and that, alone, is reason enough.

    Sincerely,

    Kimiam

  25. CuriousC said,

    March 10, 2008 at 7:38 am · Edit

    Hear, Hear! or is it HERE, HERE!

    What Wendy says is true. and I especially liked David’s “Get thee to a puppery!”

    One puppy, crate, food/water bowls, food, cute sweater, collar and leash: $500 (I really don’t know, I’m guessing on the money…? could be more or less)
    Moonbeam’s happiness & joy…. PRICELESS

    THIS POST and ALL the comments…. PRICELESS & HILARIOUS

  26. Lending Support « Idea Jump! said,

    March 10, 2008 at 7:43 am · Edit

    […] Enjoy the original and creative blog of Moonbeam, click here. […]

  27. ~m said,

    March 10, 2008 at 8:20 am · Edit

    and speak to in insufferable baby talk

    God, I love that. {panting . . . }

    ~m

  28. ~m said,

    March 10, 2008 at 8:21 am · Edit

    And yeah, GET THAT GIRL A PUP!
    ~m

6 thoughts on “Teacup Pup Campaign ’08: Please sign the petition.

  1. Red says:

    Tom,
    Buying said pup might even get you laid.
    Think about it.

  2. betme says:

    It has all been said… Just want you to see one more signature in support of the blessed puppy.

  3. [...] Lily Says… Filed under: Uncategorized — Little Miss @ 9:45 pm Don’t forget to sign the Teacup Pup Campaign ‘08. [...]

  4. Candice says:

    Hi there!
    I found the most beautiful teacup pup on your website, what breed is it? I think you should get one, and I will too!!

    http://moonbeammcqueen.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/teacup-pup.jpg

  5. Candice: Hi. That adorable pup is a teacup Maltese, and I hope both of us get one.

  6. Candice says:

    Me too! Thanks!!

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